These days are so full, rich, and deep. Sometimes, I really forget why they are. I forget about dwelling in the present moments with God; I forget about eternity.

"In Him is Life! And, this Life is the Light of men. The Light shines through the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it" (John 1:4-5).

As I was skimming over my blog posts, I am made aware of how much has happened! I have changed so much! But, more importantly, I have fallen more in love with Jesus because of His great love for me.

I appreciate lists. So, here is a list of changes, things that I am learning, and things that I am experiencing.

1. I am on staff with Campus Crusade for Christ, and I will be working at Kennesaw State University when I reach full-support.
2. I am four months out of school. What a relief!
3. I am growing into adulthood, and I never wanted to grow up when I was younger. I stayed as young as I could. ***
4. I am learning how to posture myself under the grandeur, magnificence, and holiness of God. My life is not my own, and I have been bought with a price (1 Cor. 6:19-20).
5. I have tasted and seen the goodness of God in ways that I never thought I would (Ps. 34:8).

***To be transparent with you, I will give you an example how I tried to stay young: I played with Barbie's until I was about 12.

All of these things changes and growing experiences are affecting the current season of life that I am in: I am raising support for the work that God has called me to with Campus Crusade for Christ. This is stretching and challenging. But, I believe in the yielding that it will bring: dependency upon the Lord and a greater view of who I am in Him.

I encourage you to think over the past several months and ask yourself: What changes have occurred? Where have I been growing, or where have I not been growing? Have I fallen more in love with Jesus? If not, do I understand that He loves me completely?

"Behold, you delight in truth in the innermost place; You teach me wisdom in the secret heart" (Ps. 51:6).

Tenth Avenue North - The Making of "You Are More"

The simple gospel of Jesus dispells everything that we tell ourselves and that we hear from the results of humanity's sin.

Do you hear that? Did you know that because of Jesus you can let go of self-deprecating thoughts? Have you ever understood the purpose of Jesus as a rescue mission for your heart--to completely free you of consequence of sin which is death? Death in your self-worth. Death in relationships. Death in your union with God. Jesus, the Messiah promised, came "that they may have life and have it abundantly" (John 10:10). So, what does that mean and what does that look like?

What is abundant life as it relates to your self-worth? I think that it's comprehending total acceptance and love from God, your Creator.

What is it to experience abundant life in relationships? I think it's manifested in freedom to love, freedom to give, and freedom to receive. It's giving and receiving what is described in 1 Corinthians 13: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, and it does not boast. It isn't proud, rude or self seeking. Love is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of being wronged. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails."

So, abundant life in union with God. It's freedom; it's grace; it's reverence for His awesomeness; and it's the comfort of knowing Him as the Father of all compassion and the God of comfort. Imagine an unending presence constantly in connection with your very personhood. That is abundant life. When one confesses by faith that Jesus is the Messiah, who died and resurrected for the sake of forgiving one's sin and bringing new life, then God's Spirit comes and fills that person. Just as God filled the Temple in Jerusalem with His presence, so man is filled with the presence, power, and glory of God. It's not figurative. It is literal.

May you hear Jesus speak to you: "Behold, I stand at the door (of your heart and of your life) and knock. If any man opens to Me, I will come in and (I will remain with him)." (Paraphrase of Revelation 3:20)

Tenth Avenue North - "Any Other Way" Video Journal

Song

Psalm 16

"Keep me safe, O God, for I come to You for Refuge. I said to my Lord, You are my Lord, apart from You I have no good thing. As for the saints who are in the land, they are the godly ones in whom is all my delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup--You hold my lot...I will bless the Lord who counsels me. Even at night, my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken...At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Psalm 16:

You said that You would be my Portion
You said that You would be my Everything
You said that You would be my Portion in the land of the living

So, come and fill this house with Your love
Come and fill this house with Your presence
Come and fill this house with Your love
Come and fill this house with Your glory

O Come O Come

My heart is longing for You.
Jesus, to sit at Your feet is what I want.
You share with me Your care.
You smile as You look at me.

I reach out to touch.
I tell You my secrets.
There's nothing hidden in this light.
Tenderly, You remind me that I am safe.

A familiar song crescendos--it proclaims
How Deep is the Father's love.
How Vast Beyond All measure.

I long to be pure.
For he who hopes in You purifies Himself, You say.
O Come, O Come.
O Come, O Come.
I'm aching for You.

Seasons in Passing: Unfading Hope

I am thoroughly excited for my favorite season's hastening. Thank the Lord for fall. It's the foliage, the change in the weather, and the spiritual symbolism of this time that I appreciate. There is a change from flourishing newness to shedding the past. And though believers in Christ are always in process of this change, seeing it happen before my eyes in such a tangible way makes me think of its implications.

This season, I am in school. The next season, I won't be. This season, I am financially dependent. Next season, I will be financially independent. This season, I am learning God's character. Next season, most likely will be clinging to Him. Process. Change. Excitement. Nervous. Ready. Yearning.

"Holy design--this place in time. That I might seek and find my God, my God. Lord, I want to yearn for You. I want to burn with passion over You, only You." --Shane and Shane

I am graduating, and I am really happy! But, there is a lot ahead of me, and there are still many unknowns in the midst of a general outline.

General outline: Called to Campus Crusade for Christ staff.

Where I will be? Don't know.

Will I be accepted? Lord willing, yes. Or, Lord willing, no.

The most important thing about this process, this change, this passing is this: that I may die to gain Life. Die everyday to myself, to my will, to my fears, to my demands in order to "gain Christ and be found in Him not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law but a righteousness that comes from faith in Jesus Christ" (Phil. 3). One thing thing to say it, another to live it. It's one thing to pray it, and then another to submit to Him.

Praise God that I am submitting to the Holy One, the good Father, the Author and Perfector of my faith.

It's a season.

Where are you? What's your season? What has God called you to? What are you learning? What needs to die? May you know that no matter what circumstances God has called into your life and has ordained for you now, your soul is secure. Your hope is unfailing and unfading because He is living in you.

The Father's Heart

Something really precious was revealed to me.

I love movies. And, one of my favorites is A Little Princess. The version I am speaking of is the Warner Brothers Version, made in the mid- to late '90s. It was the first movie that I cried over. Before that, I had heard people saying, "I balled in that movie!" But, I never knew the sensation.

Most of the movies that my friends cried in were dramatic love scenes, when one lover was ripped apart from the other. These scenes do not quite have the affect on me that the touching images of a father and daughter or father and son have upon me.

The story for those that are unfamiliar goes like this: A little girl is sent to boarding school by her father, the only living relative she has. The time is set during World War I, and she is being shipped to a boarding school in New York. Her father comforts her and confides in her what every girl desperately needs to hear: You are and will always be my little princess. She believes him. And, this belief is not taken away from her, even when her father is reported to her as dead; even when she has to become a laborer for the boarding school to earn her keep; even though she is left all alone in the world. She spreads the love that her father deeply planted into her heart: she tells other girls who struggle to believe in their significance that they, too, are princesses.

Sarah's father, discovered as not dead but suffering from a serious case of amnesia, is brought back to the United States and is housed right next to Sarah's boarding school. But, even when he comes face to face with Sarah, he cannot remember her and believes that she isn't his daughter.

The final scene is this: the headmaster, who emotionally abuses the girls at the school, accuses Sarah of stealing. She calls for the police to come and arrest Sarah for stealing. In a very dramatic moment (right as Sarah is being taken away by the police), Sarah's father remembers that Sarah is his daughter, and he is her father.

He calls her name: "Sarah!"

She runs to him and replies: "Daddy!"

The tears start rolling in a continuous sequence down my cheeks. Every time.

The reason this story is so precious to me is because it speaks to the deep longing I have to be known my Father; to be sought after by Him; and to be able to cling to Him as a loving, constant, and fierce protector of all that I am. And, unlike Sarah's father in the film, my Father doesn't forget me. And, all who are found in His Son, he doesn't forget you.

"You did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by which we cry, "Abba! Father!" His Spirit bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God." (Romans 8:15-16)


Arise and be comforted.

The Father knows you and loves you.

"Lift up your hands in [His] sanctuary." (Ps. 124, my note added)

Coming Back to Eden

Coming Back to Eden
Mary Beth Hough

You invited me back.
Back to Eden.
I forgot who You were.
But, You said You knew me.

The memories of my failure.
The doubts of Your grace.
The lies I believed for years swelled within me.
You don't care.
You don't want me.
You won't catch me.

I sat and pondered.
You said, Don't you remember?

With a hoe in hand, You started at the ground.
Dig. Dig.
I have loved you. I chose you anyway.
You can't escape me. I love you too much.
Dig. Dig.


With hestiation, I start to You.
And, You wait.
The mess on my shoulders and in my mind starts falling down with sloppy plops on the ground.
I see you keep working the hoe. The ground gets easier.
Dig. Dig.

You say, Child, there will be more.
But today's trouble is enough for today.



"I love the Lord, because He hears my voice."

"For the Lord longs to be gracious to you. He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for Him to help."

Truth from the Heart

Psalm 3:

1O LORD, how my adversaries have increased!
Many are rising up against me.
2Many are saying of my soul,
"There is no deliverance for him in God." Selah.
3But You, O LORD, are a shield about me,
My glory, and the One who lifts my head.
4I was crying to the LORD with my voice,
And He answered me from His holy mountain. Selah.
5I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.
6I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people
Who have set themselves against me round about.
7 Arise, O LORD; save me, O my God!
For You have smitten all my enemies on the cheek;
You have shattered the teeth of the wicked.
8 Salvation belongs to the LORD;
Your blessing be upon Your people! Selah.

Psalm 3
Mary Beth Hough

Verse 1:
Arise, O LORD!
Come rescue me!

Arise, O LORD!
Come rescue me!

Verse 2:
The enemy pursues me.
He says, "You won't break free."

Arise, O LORD!
Come rescue me!

Chorus:
You are a shield about me,
My Glory,
and the Lifter of my head!

You are a shield about me,
My Glory,
and the Lifter of my head.
You lift up my head!

Verse 3:
I lay down and sleep,
for You're watching over me.

I will not be afraid of ten thousand enemies!

Chorus

Bridge:
Salvation, Salvation, Salvation belongs to the LORD.
My Salvation, Salvation, Salvation belongs to the LORD.

Salvation, Salvation, Salvation belongs to the LORD.
My Salvation, Salvation, Salvation belongs to the LORD.



Honesty. Transparency. Realness. This is what God desires.

Psalm 51:6: "Behold, you desire truth in the innermost place--You teach me wisdom in the secret heart."

Jesus said, "God is Spirit; and they that worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in truth" (John 4:24).

The Lord didn't say true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and in striving or in Spirit and in obligation. He said, "Spirit and in truth." There is something so beautiful with this thought for me. Jesus is talking of God the Father desiring worshipers who will worship Him in Spirit and truth. One requirement is that we must have the Spirit of God living in us to worship Him--His Spirit that is given only through accepting Jesus' payment for sin in our place and believing that He is alive now. Then, the second component in this marriage is to worship Him in truth. In the context of why Jesus is saying this, the Samaritan woman at the well has just asked Him about where is the correct place to worship God. Jesus goes to the heart of the matter, by saying (essentially), "Woman, it's not the place. It's that you are marked by Me and sealed with My Spirit and that you are honest enough to let me change you." Why it is that I think (I could be wrong) Jesus says this is because the Samaritan woman, like me, has junk in her life. It needs to be dealt with, and the only way that happens is through communicating honestly with God--letting Him meet us where we are.

For so long, I believed that God wanted me to fake it. I thought He wanted a good and righteous outward appearance. More than that, I thought that God wasn't able to accept how much I have failed. I have failed His expectations--but, most of them were my expectations. Deep down, I believed that He was seriously disappointed in me. I was simply too much. Since the time that Jesus ambushed me, His grace has given me a glimmer of hope that maybe God really does love me. And maybe, just maybe, He can change all things.

God can see right through my failed attempts to please Him; my failed attempts to fake it; my failed attempts to be right before Him; my failed attempts to find the significance that I so desire. And, attempt I do everyday. Many moments throughout my day I make these vain attempts.

The truth: I need Jesus. I need Him. I need the Son of God, who alone is able to save me. I need Him to continuously save me; redeem my false ideas of God; and cut to my core...for that's the kind of worship that the Father wants: Spirit and His truth from the core.